As a parent it can be tough to sit back and watch as your teen prepares to take a big entrance exam. You are concerned for their future, their stress level, their preparation, and their health. All that concern can lead to a lot of nervous energy, and teens are very sensitive to nervous energy. You don’t want to add to their stress by being stressed yourself. A study conducted by King’s College London found that “The association between parental and offspring anxiety largely arises due to a direct association between parents and their children independent of genetic confounds.” In other words, you can pass on anxiety through your behavior, rather than your genes. You need to find a balance between being helpful and supportive, and not telling your teen what to do.
How Can I Help?
It can be easy to want to tell your child exactly what to do. The most encouraging thing you can do is simply ask “how can I help?” Your child might ask for help with prioritizing time, studying a specific topic, taking a timed practice test, or even just eating a healthy dinner. When you ask, you will know what your child is struggling with and the best ways to offer support.
Take a Break
If you find yourself at odds with your teen over study or time, rather than fighting or nagging, try taking a break. You can give your teen quiet study time while you go for a walk. Or, fix a nice snack to show you care. When the conversation becomes escalated, and your emotions aren’t helping the situation, take some time to step back, breathe, and think about what is really important. Ask yourself, “Is this an argument we need to have?” Sometimes it is, but sometimes it isn’t.
Studying Isn’t Everything
Remember that social relationships, exercise, and sleep are all important for your teen’s health and well being. Find ways to encourage your teen to take time for themselves. Don’t worry if your teen wants to go to a movie with friends, play frisbee, or go for a run. These things will help relieve anxiety and boost confidence, which are both essential for doing well on an exam. Your teen shouldn’t study 100% of the time. Steer them towards healthy activities and away from unhealthy ones, such as surfing the internet.
A Positive Environment
A test has a big role in determining a child’s future, but there are plenty of other factors. A happy, healthy teen that knows how to keep healthy relationships and manage stress is likely to do better in life than a teen that only knows how to get a good test score. Set up a positive environment so that your teen is successful in all they do.
